Brilliant Friday!

OK, so aside from finally losing the panel on the rear drivers' side door of my car (long story) this has been one fun day.

Today, I slept til I woke up. I haven't done that in I don't know how long. No alarm, no expectation of anything. Got up, cleaned, put up the christmas crap (which Moth LOVES. Must be the lights.) Cleaned some more.

Then watched this movie - Love Actually.

It's the new Christmas phenom. All the chicks dig it. Except me, I think. It's full of unrequited, broken, and baseless love. There's some good stuff in there, too, but too much of it is too "reality" for me. I don't want reality in my movies, thank you very much. At the same time, I really can't suspend disbelief enough to think someone would cheat on Colin Firth. I mean. Really.

The boys had One Big Dustup today. It all stems from the "secret stash". Stinky likes to keep a box of crap under his bed. Pens, stupid little toys, necklaces, makeup... wait, no, that was my secret stash when I was a kid. His doesn't have the makeup. I digress. Moth doesn't particularly want the crap, but he doesn't want Stinky to have it, either. So, whenever Sean is off playing with his friends, Tim will find a way to get up into the stash. We have tried yelling, we have tried hand folding, we have tried sentences, we have tried Slave For A Day (that's my newest punishment, and I must say, it works quite well, usually). None of these deterred young MothMan from terrorizing his brother. Today, he lost Sean's favorite light-up pen.

So daddy... uh... I can't write the word because I'm sure we'll go to jail or, at the very least, my web page will get a whole bunch of hits from bad people, but it starts with an s, ends with a ked, and has a pan in the middle... anyhow, he did that to the Moth. Will it be a deterrent? Don't know. But Stinky feels justified and John feels guilty. And I, well, I was watching a movie. Harvey trait: the whole scene escaped my attention. It's a skill. What can I say?

Speaking of younger sibling rebellion... Loki snuck out of the house today. Now, what is it about dogs, that when they have the penchant for roaming, they have to combine that with the odeur de merde? Don't know what that little pup rolled in, but it sure did make Dad mad. Had to give the dog a bath. Pup has been in the cage ever since. But I can see rebellion fomenting in his eyes. He is, as I have said b4, aptly named. God of mischief, you got nuttin on this pup.

Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving.

(*)>

What is left, what is right?

I got to thinking on the way to work this morning on the differences between the dems and the GOP. The impetus for this crazy thought process was the lost congressional seat in upstate New York. Apparently, the "party?" appointed a moderate-to-liberal woman as the candidate for the republican side. The right wing of the party didn't like that, so they put up some "carpet-bagger" from a neighboring district who had more of the "right values" (I'm using a lot of quotes here because I am only loosely aware of this situation, and the specifics aren't particularly essential to my thought process.) In a primarily Republican district, after the stooge dropped out, the republican got trounced. And the big talkers are, supposedly shocked.

So, I'm thinking - why are they so surprised? I don't know a non-contrary republican. I think, in fact, that being opposed to being told what to do is the ONLY thing that republicans have in common. We are, in essence, true rebels. How strange that we have this image of lockstep automatons.

On the other hand, the Democratic party has the image of a bunch of bad-boy fight-the-system cool cats - protesting every cause. But their actions belie this. Whatever the party says, that seems to be what goes. If it means stomping on the bill of rights, eh, so what. They'll look out for us. Whoever they are. Whoever we are.

Is it just my skewed vision of the world, or do you see some kind of kernel of truth to this? Please discuss this theme in a 5 paragraph essay... oops, wait, this isn't school... never mind. Comments?

(*)>

Recycling?

So, I was limping (more on that later) to my classroom from my lame-o meeting when I noticed a bright orange square in the alcove outside my room.

If I didn't get that little prophylactic out of there, it was going to be wrapped around my door handle. But I wasn't about to pick it up. I mean, gross! So I kicked it down to this other alcove for an unused lab.

Fast forward 1.5 hours to the end of day. I had go bathroom (much like Corky in the one episode of Life Goes On I watched), so I walked past that alcove. The Cheetos wrapper was still there. But the condom was gone.

All I could think was... someone decided to use it.

Just the thought makes me skeeved.


The school district, in response to Pres. Obama's OH MY GOD ITS A FLU EMERGENCY NO ONE PANIC!! has upped their dedication to increasing the strength and determination of all bacteria. They've installed hand sanitation stations in all classrooms. I have one installed next to my sink, so the lazy ass kids will forgo washing their hands, and instead will haphazardly and incorrectly apply Listeria-infested hand sanitizer to their nasty hands. Ah, well, we're due for a good plague, anyhow. Bring. It. On.


Speaking of plagues, I took the kids to the Renaissance Faire. Sean wanted to go in costume - as a monk! I could work with that! I made myself a plague victim and I made Tim lame.



I was asked what plague I had, and I said "Swine flu!" That sure scared some folks!

We are doing well, in general. Ups and downs of life are fine. My foot is STILL hurt, after a year, so I guess it's permanent. I've noticed when I wear my orthopedic shoes (ugly but comfy), I can walk a lot better. So, I guess it's off to the shoe store! Darn!

Hope anyone that reads this is well!

(*)>

Boy 0, Crabs 2

This summer, John started up "cheap vacations with the bird family!"

He's taken up camping with the boys. As I camped enough as a nestling, I pass on the privilege.

This weekend, they went down to Maryland and went crabbing with Poppy. This is their second foray crabbing.

On the first adventure, our Fresh Air Fund kid came along, and they caught 4 female underweight crabs. The moth proudly decreed each catch, then reversed his pride with the news of the throw-back. Poppy said that Tim should apply for Town Crier when he gets older, as he has the inherent skill and ability.

This time, apparently, they caught 0 crabs. If you read this earlier, well, it was apparently a boy conspiracy to hide the truth. But the town crier spilled the beans. Another failed crabbing mission. Alas, they bought crabs and et them anyhow.


~~~~~

Stinky should not be left out of any update. In keeping with his "grass is always greener" attitude, Sean has now declared that he hates school and wishes it was summer again. Two weeks into summer with me, he had decreed the opposite. He's such a whiner - just like his mom!

One thing he doesn't whine or complain about - ever - is listening to epic stories on CD or tape. The kid has an unending appetite for them. He's picked up Harry Potter at the library - and we're talking like 10CD's for some of the middle books - he hasn't gotten to 5 yet - and he follows them the whole way!

It has been our savior for driving on these camping trips and other trips. Last weekend, we went up to my mom's and listened to the beginning of a new series - the Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians). He was captivated within 30 seconds, and we didn't hear a peep from him the rest of the trip - even when Mothy pestered him!

~~~~~

In our last update from the aviary, our local water department is cleaning out the mains. So we are all hooked up through hoses.

Our water smells FOUL - old army boot foul. I Brita it b4 use, but it is still awful. It must be used in coffee or such. As a result, I am drinking bottled water. Why is it that when your water is not potable, you're way thirstier than usual?

In addition to smelling foul, we have extreme fluctuations in pressure, and sometimes it just starts to effervesce and smell even weirder - I think it's a chlorine push. Whack!

Yesterday, one of the temporary hydrants blew. It was a great big fountain in the middle of the street. Some saw water - I saw my water bill going up.

In the end, though, I wonder: how do people without good water in their houses do it? Shudder. At least I know My situation is temporary!!

(*)>

Even After Doing Research...

One of the big stories in the Philly region this week was the closing of Colosimo's Gun Shop in Philly.

I read the Inquirer - it's mostly skewed WAAAAAYYYY left, but it's still the news. From the ink's coverage, it seemed as though this shop sold 99% of the guns used in gun crime in Philly. At first, I was thinking - "GREAT! a dirty little haven for bad guys is gone!!"

Then I remembered, this is the Inquirer, where no story can be written without spin and agenda. And to see a column by Monica Yant Kinney cheering the closing and targeting another gun shop immediately? Well, my crusade detector has gone off.

So I did a little background reading to see if this place was really a den of iniquity. I'm not as familiar with Philadelphia Weekly, but this story seems more fair. So, the Brady Bill targeted Colosimo's as a source of straw purchases. But it does so much business, and is the only gun outlet in the area, so that's not surprising... It did seem that he followed the rules with purchases, checking the ages and validity of the purchasers. What a purchaser does with a gun after buying it cannot be blamed on the shop owner!

What it comes down to, it seems to me, is that they tired the owner out. So he left. My guess is that gun crime will not go down, but honest citizens who want to have a gun (I am not one of them, but I will defend those who are) will now have to go outside the city to buy a gun. For people who are in the worst neighborhoods of the city, this is not an easy proposition.

It seems to me that John's experience in Africa sums it up. The bad guys get the guns. The good guys end up dead, because the bad guys like it that way. The gun is the great equalizer. In the hands of a 4'10" old lady, she has the same power as a 6'7" young buck. But now, not only does she not have that option in North Philly - I doubt that he will lose that option. If they can't buy them in Philly, they'll go elsewhere. Criminals aren't bothered by inconvenience.

So, good on you, crusaders. I dearly hope this doesn't come back to... shoot you (or me) in the foot.

(*)>

Welcome Back, Kotter!

Well, it's back to school time at the Aviary. Hence the less than no posting schedule. But things ah-re the way things ah-re, to paraphrase a favorite movie.

School is much the same - room, classes, even some of the same kids. This year, there is a new development - a few of us are at war with the cleaning crew. They are stealing our doorstops.

I ask you, what is the world coming to, when someone would steal your doorstop? So, on the surprise trip up to my mom's this weekend (where I found out about my SISTER - my PURRFECT big SISTER - getting REPRIMANDED by a campground supervisor for making too much noise late at night! Ha ha ha ha!! Never knew mom was such a tattletale, did ya?), my brother came to the rescue and made me like 8 new doorstops. I have already decorated my first in hopes that this time, they won't scribble out my name and pretend theirs was there first:




(the other edge says "don't steal this")
What're the odds I'll still have this at the end of the week?

~~~~~

In other news, my family's descent into irredeemable redneckdom has continued. It started with us encouraging our kids to play outside, unsupervised, and they came up with a war game. Americans versus Indians. They lured other boys in... boys whose mothers don't "believe in war or its violence." WHATever.

Our shame spiral continued when Timmy kicked the hornets' nest, and John showed up to save him clad only in shorts (he had just spilled spaghetti sauce on his shirt, but hell, it looked like he likes to walk around shirtless. I told him to look on the bright side, at least he wasn't wearing a wife beater!)

But the last straw for our neighbors has come. My husband has indulged his secret childhood wish and bought himself a beebee gun. Yes, John has been firing the gun in the backyard, which is, of course, a magnet for every daggone boy in the 'hood. They all come - and after checking with dads and making them don safety glasses, he lets them shoot off the gun - under complete supervision.

This is a bb gun. Not a real gun. Just to make sure you're not confused.

So, anyhow, he's out in the backyard, shooting off guns, drinking Pabst which is surrounded by his new beer-cozy (thanks a lot, uncle tom), and spouting off a random "yee haw" or "get-r-dunn".

I would hang my head in shame, except I think that I am the more red-necky of the two of us. And I actually enjoy horrifying our "guns are EEEVil" neighbors. What? I never claimed to be a nice hag. Just a flightless one.

(*)>

I Must Be Bipolar...

So, two days into the school year, and I was dejected.

My class sizes are from 33 to 40.

My room seats 30 comfortably.

The class periods have been shortened to 45 minutes.

I was challenged covering the material in 57.

I couldn't get through ANYTHING yesterday. Build safety rules, do catalyst and math minute. That's it! two problems and safety rules. No demo. Nothing!! I was supposed to do a lab today, but no dice. Not in this century.

And I don't even know, when I had the time, if I even impacted anyone at all. Our general testing scores ranged from awful to pathetically disturbing. Frustration and chaos were having their effects on me.

To top it off, my new pants - which I bought a size bigger than normal - were TIGHT. And I could have sworn I lost 5 pounds in the last few weeks!

Just before my first class, I got an email from another teacher. This teacher coaches a sport, and wanted to let me know that a bunch of the students were talking about me. They were really positive, not just about me as a person/teacher, but about how being in my class was actually a positive experience.

And when I got to the bathroom later, I found the pants had been mistagged - two sizes too big! I was actually comfortably wearing a size SMALLER than usual.

Like that, out of the doldrums and onto cloud nine.

I think it must be exhaustion!!

~~~~~

John is off to his next class tonight. Still pushing for the advanced degree in boringology. But the thing is, as much as he didn't want to do it, I think he loves it.

Tomorrow night, he's going to take classes to learn to cook like a Viking. How many ways can you make gruel? Mulled wine in four easy steps? Sour milk and its infinite uses? I guess he's mastered so many other cooking niches that Viking cooking classes were his last challenge.

What's that you say? Viking is a kind of cooking product? He's not going to go a-viking?

Darn. I was looking forward to the elderberry mead.

~~~~~

The boys are back in school, as opposed to town. Totally ready to be back, excited about their teachers, and ecstatic to see their friends. Glad I teach high school, for sure!

And now, I've finished my homework, finished the dishes, got the kids ready... CRAP load of laundry in the dryer. A hag's work is never done.

(*)>

Words A Mother Never Wants To Hear

Heard from the bathroom by Mom (in the kitchen washing dishes)

(dad to mothy or stinky, not sure which)



"DO NOT TRY TO PEE AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH AT THE SAME TIME!"

Ahh, kids.

(*)>